please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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