if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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