i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
