She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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