i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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