I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
