It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize