Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize