billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
