Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
