Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
