whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
