I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Randomize