Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
