Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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