Three words: puerto rican gang bang
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
