your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
