he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Boobs speak an international language.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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