My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
