I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
