I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
