Dual....:-)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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