also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize