is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
