I'm going to jail i love you
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
