Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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