I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize