I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
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You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
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We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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