So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I will be naked everywhere
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
