there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
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i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
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I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.