i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
