lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
im holly from the hills drunk
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.