I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?