come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh