Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.