Are we in a gay sports bar?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
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I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
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Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated