I CAN MOONWALK!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!