Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize