I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
