I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
