you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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