omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
