I think scott just propositioned me for sex
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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