That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
