you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize