Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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