me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
