I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize