Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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