Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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