i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
