you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
