Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
