Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
