my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
