Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize