if i can run in heels then i can drive
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
