i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
