Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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