Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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