when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
