I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
