he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
