so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
