her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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