end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
