how can u be prego again
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
