I wish my penis had an off switch
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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