I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
