He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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