New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
