some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize