her vagine was all disorganized.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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